Hi! My name is Dirk Jan. I’m from Holland. I’m single, handsome, and I know EVERYTHING about Dutch taxes!
Hi! My name is Dirk Jan
Hi! My name is Dirk Jan. I’m from Holland. I’m single, handsome, and I know EVERYTHING about Dutch taxes!
I'm a tax specialist
I work for one of the big four accounting firms in Holland. I’m considered to be their most experienced tax specialist. Although I’m still under 30, I have advised the CFO’s and CEO’s of the majority of the Dutch blue chip companies.
On his way to India
Monday, 10.30 a.m., KLM flight 633:
Dirk Jan on his way to India to see the CFO of an important prospective Indian client, TATA Steel, and sell him a 1-year contract. He knows he will succeed. He is the best and he is an expert! When he gets the contract signed he is sure that he will get an a higher year end bonus and a bigger company car.
He is sure they will be very pleased to see him.
No answer
Tuesday morning, 9.00 A.M.: Phone call to client, TATA Steel, from hotel room to reconfirm his appointment with the CFO. No answer.
9.10 a.m.: no answer
9.20 a.m.: no answer
9.40 a.m.: no answer
Secretary at 10.00 a.m: “good morning, (……)* speaking”
* This part Dirk Jan could not understand. ‘What is she talking about????’
Out of town
Dirk Jan: Good morning, my name is Dirk Jan de Groot, of KPMG. I’m from Holland. I want to let you know that I will be at your offices at 11.00 a.m. Could you please tell that to Mr. Singh? Thank you.
Secretary to Mr. Singh: Sorry, Mr. Singh is out of town.
Secretary to Mr. Singh: Sorry, Mr. Singh is out of town.
Dirk Jan is in shock!
Dirk Jan is in shock. He came all the way to India to see Mr. Singh. And now he is told that he is out of town. In an arrogant way he tells the secretary to give him Mr. Singh’s mobile number so he can speak to him... He is told instead that he can meet with Mr. Singh’s deputy, Mr. Rohit, tomorrow at 6 p.m.
Staying in the hotel
After a boring night in Mumbai, Dirk Jan wakes up.*And he waits in his hotel until 5 p.m.
* Dirk Jan has never traveled outside of Europe so he does not dare to go out of his hotel.
Dirty taxis
At 5.30 p.m. he asks the hotel concierge to call a taxi to bring him to the TATA Steel head office. He is in shock when he sees the taxi. It is smelly and dirty. ‘Is this the best the hotel can arrange for me?’, he asks himself angrily.
Banging his head against the wall
[Dirk Jan arrives at the TATA Steel office at 6 p.m.]
Security guard: Stop! You can not enter. You first register [in Hindi].
Dirk Jan thinks: Why don’t they speak proper English here? And they are not very polite. I am in such a bad mood now. I just want to bang my head against the door.
Marriage?
Finally inside, the secretary of Mr. Rohit tells him that he has to wait because Mr. Rohit is still engaged in another meeting.
Behind the door he hears two men talking. He can faintly hear them talking about ‘high school’, ‘good friends’, ‘partners’, ‘you know I will always help you’, ‘your son and my daughter’, ‘marriage’.
Dirk Jan thinks: this does not sound like a very important meeting. How can he let me wait so late at night. In Holland I would have been home by now. Who does he think he is? I came all the way from Holland and I’m the best in my field. The should be honoured to have me here I feel very offended.
Behind the door he hears two men talking. He can faintly hear them talking about ‘high school’, ‘good friends’, ‘partners’, ‘you know I will always help you’, ‘your son and my daughter’, ‘marriage’.
Dirk Jan thinks: this does not sound like a very important meeting. How can he let me wait so late at night. In Holland I would have been home by now. Who does he think he is? I came all the way from Holland and I’m the best in my field. The should be honoured to have me here I feel very offended.
Mysterious picture on the wall
After waiting for 40 minutes Dirk Jan can go in..
The first thing Dirk Jan sees is a big picture of Mr. Rohit on the wall in front of the Big Ben in London with somebody Dirk Jan does not know.
Probably his brother who lives in London, he thinks..
The first thing Dirk Jan sees is a big picture of Mr. Rohit on the wall in front of the Big Ben in London with somebody Dirk Jan does not know.
Probably his brother who lives in London, he thinks..
I have seen the whole world
Mr. Rohit: Good evening, Mr. uhhhhh De Groot. So you are from Europe? Ah, I have been to Europe too. I was in Paris, London, Switzerland, Amsterdam. I have seen the whole world.
Dirk Jan: that is all very interesting Mr. Rohit. I am here to discuss the contract. I am sure we can come to an agreement today.
Dirk Jan: that is all very interesting Mr. Rohit. I am here to discuss the contract. I am sure we can come to an agreement today.
Tringggg, tringgggggg, tringggggg.
Mr. Rohit: Hello, Rohit here. Hi, Venkat, how are You? How is your wife, and the children? Yes, I can come to the club on Friday.
[phone call continues for the next 10 minutes..]
After Mr. Rohit hangs up he calls his secretary and tells her in an extremely unfriendly way to bring them coffee.
Dirk Jan is shocked by this rudeness. "If I would speak to my secretary in Holland in the same manner, she would quit immediately and probably sue me for inproper behaviour".
[phone call continues for the next 10 minutes..]
After Mr. Rohit hangs up he calls his secretary and tells her in an extremely unfriendly way to bring them coffee.
Dirk Jan is shocked by this rudeness. "If I would speak to my secretary in Holland in the same manner, she would quit immediately and probably sue me for inproper behaviour".
What a (...)
During the meeting the phone keeps ringing and people keep entering the room to discuss things. Mr. Rohit is also sending SMS messages and he does not seem to pay a lot of attention to the presentation of Dirk Jan.
Dirk Jan thinks: This guy does not seem to pay attention to anything I say.
What do I do wrong?? What a (…).
Dirk Jan thinks: This guy does not seem to pay attention to anything I say.
What do I do wrong?? What a (…).
Knock, knock
Dirk Jan: So Mr. Rohit, this was my presentation. Any questions?
Mr. Rohit: Hi, Raju and Ismael. Come in. How are you? Did your meeting with Tata consulting go well? Any news on that? BTW this is Mr. de Groot from a European consulting firm. Please sit down.
Mr. Rohit: Hi, Raju and Ismael. Come in. How are you? Did your meeting with Tata consulting go well? Any news on that? BTW this is Mr. de Groot from a European consulting firm. Please sit down.
Dirk Jan tries one more time to get Mr. Rohit’s attention.
Dirk Jan: Uhhhh, Mr. Rohit, about the contract. Can we sign it this afternoon?
Mr. Rohit: Sorry, Mr. de Groot. That is something I don’t decide upon right now. I will first want to ask staff from legal, HR, tax and some other collegues for their input. They also need to be able to give their opinion.
Dirk Jan: Ahhhhhhhhh (=very frustrated)
Mr. Rohit: Sorry, Mr. de Groot. That is something I don’t decide upon right now. I will first want to ask staff from legal, HR, tax and some other collegues for their input. They also need to be able to give their opinion.
Dirk Jan: Ahhhhhhhhh (=very frustrated)
Back home..
Thursday morning, 0.50 a.m., KLM flight KL6033Dirk Jan is on his way back to Holland. He is very frustrated and knows for sure he will never do business with Indians again. They are arrogant and they feel that they know everything better.
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